don't push bad memories away.

Almost three months have passed now since my last entry in january. During the past three months i was preparing for my A-level. After the stressful exam time, i have holidays for three weeks. Finally! But unfortunately i've caught a cold during my preparing time, shortly after it turned into cough. Until now i can hardly sleep owing to my bad coughing which i hadn't for years. I hope i would recover as soon as possible.But now, i'm back again! :)

A few days ago, rummaging in my blog, i was astonished by some old entries, ( especially those in my strong emotional condition ) which i've written long time ago. I can't estimate whether it was a good or a bad surprise. On the one hand it was funny and at the same time awkward reading what i 've written on my own. On the other hand some memories were recalled, some of those which i've pushed away. So i thought i should delete these entries. But after all i didn't, because for me it's like cheating on myself to ' delete ' more or less ' bad ' memories. I think everyone had 'bad' experiences in the past. Admittedly i hadn't experience real fatal things, which would cause me having a psychic trauma, but hurted by people, who i've loved once. I think it's a normal circulation until we've met the person who's loving us like we're loving him/her. Or if we have made a mistake, we would try to avoid doing it again. To be honest i needed a long time to overcome these things, to face it, and in the end to accept it. By experiencing ' bad things ' ( not those which are really fatal ) we can be aware of the real, true values. So think it's right not deleting my old entries. Besides i have the best Pumpkin staying next to me, now :)!